Inspirational Video: Kid President’s 25 Reasons To Be Thankful!

Done Better Than Perfect

A few weeks ago, Lauren ran a half marathon without any preparation. My wife went all beast mode and knocked out a race that would have left me whimpering. I can barely believe it myself, but it happened. Crazy, right? It's hard for me to believe too, but I am 100% sure she didn't leave the baby with me to go running over the summer, and I was at the race with her for the start and the finish. Yes, she is impressive. She kind of makes me look bad sometimes. I'm still not sure why she said, "Yes."

This would be an appropriate time to go on a predictable tangent about how perseverance in marathons is so crucial, and how we should be willing to apply that to the rest of our lives, and blah blah blah... but I won't. You've probably already heard all that before. Besides, believe it or not, that isn't the part about all this that impressed me the most about Lauren's race. What impressed me most is that preparing was in her original plans, but she got tied up in all kinds of other stuff and didn't. She even had the opportunity to back out... but she went out there and did it anyway. I think there's a lesson to learn here that's just as important as that tried-and-true perseverance lesson.

Lauren set a goal years ago to run a half marathon. Now she has. No putting it off until later. No giving excuses. None of that, "I'll do it when I'm better prepared," stuff. She's done. Put a fork in it. Cross it off the list. Finished. Completed.

She had all the reasons in the world to put this particular goal off for another month (or more), but she chose not to. She knew she wasn't going to get a medal, and she knew she wouldn't get a great time... but she still chose to meet the challenge. That, to me, might be even more impressive than the fact that she made it through all 13.1 miles. She knew she wasn't prepared enough to perform at her peak, but she finished it anyway.

Now I'm all for being as prepared as possible. I've even used the, "We're going slow intentionally so we can get it right," line. But how many times do we decline to meet a challenge because we could theoretically perform better some other time? I know I do it all the time. In fact, my procrastination is almost never due to a lack of motivation. Rather, it's the idea that I'll be better prepared to meet the challenge tomorrow. In most cases it's true that I'd do better with more time to plan, more research, a better schedule, better sleep, or whatever... but how much more productive would I be if I would just tackle the challenges as they come? How much more could I accomplish if I was willing to accept decent results rather than holding out for something outstanding every time?

If there is a challenge you've been avoiding because you're worried you won't do as well as you imagined, I want to encourage you to jump into it. Learn from whatever mistakes you make, and do better the next time. Lauren is already planning for her next half marathon. What scary big challenges are you willing to meet next?

Inspirational Video: Every Opportunity

I won't be spending a lot of time on a message today. I've got a sick kiddo that is keeping me super busy. Instead, I want to share a video with you.

Positive Vocabulary

On the first day of school last week, I shared a funny video with everybody. Quite a few people mentioned that they liked the video, but I didn't like how I introduced it. Here's how my email started: 

If today isn't as magical as you envisioned, just watch this video, be thankful that you work in a middle school, and laugh a little. Laughter relieves stress.

What's wrong with this statement? If you didn't spot it immediately, the problem is that this statement makes the assumption that their dreams of a positive first day will be shattered, and they'll need a funny video to cheer them up at the end of the day. That's a pretty sad starting point for a video that was supposed to make them smile!

I had good intentions, of course... but even with good intentions, I managed to start the day with a message to the whole staff that started on a negative note. Now, I'm not trying to poo poo the video itself, or even the email, but I could have done a much better job of presenting it with a positive spin.

What I want to point out today is that a small change in vocabulary can completely change the way people receive your message. This is true across the board, from advertising, to classroom management, to casual conversations.

I had a professor in college who required a lot of presentations, and asked us to critique one another after every single one. It was really awkward at first, but she insisted that we never use any negative vocabulary to describe another student's presentation. For anything that we normally would have described in a negative light, we had to use the phrase "room for growth." That change alone made it really easy to give feedback without feeling like you were hurting someone, and really easy to receive feedback without feeling judged... and all it took was changing a couple words!

Think about how much many more positive reactions you would receive from your friends, family, and students if you found just one commonly used negative word in your vocabulary and changed it to something more positive.

I'm going to focus this week on eliminating that assumption of a negative outcome. I do that too much, and I need to try to cut that out of the statements I make. How about you? If you're stuck, here are some ideas. Just look for words you find yourself using often, and replace them with words that have a more positive spin!

Back to School: Five Things to Do on Day One

Welcome back, everybody!

For those of you who are new here, this is my Monday Morning Counselor Message. I try to avoid "business" in these messages, so my colleagues will never find any meeting invitations or announcements in these messages. What they do find, and what I hope you will find as I post them here, are useful tools, personal stories, inspiring quotes, cheesy humor, and whatever else I can think of that will get your week started on a positive note. Regardless of content, you'll usually find these posted first thing Monday morning... but today is a holiday, and I decided to sleep in instead of writing. I hope you understand. Now, on to the real reason you're here.

Today's topic is the first day of school. No, not Harry Wong's book, although that's not a bad read. What I actually want to share is a short list of things to think about as you plan for your first day back. As I started putting this list together, I kept thinking, "These are silly suggestions! Everybody knows these!" But of course, knowing something and remembering it when it's important are two totally different things. I can't tell you the number of times I've slapped my forehead after the answer to a trivia question was revealed (some of us call that a facepalm). In any case, if these are standard practice for you already, just pretend that I'm not insulting your intelligence. And if they aren't, at least give them some consideration!

Inspirational Video - Awesome Girls!

Inspirational Video - Every Kid Needs a Champion

Monday Morning Message: Don't Wait a Single Moment

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world. 

–Anne Frank

I want to encourage you to start your day by picking the student who caused you the most frustration last week. The one that disrespected you in front of the class... the one that told his parents a lie about you to avoid getting in trouble... the one you had to kick out of your classroom because you had just had enough. That one. Now, start your week by saying something positive to that student first thing this morning. Don't compromise your expectations, but go out of your way to improve your relationship with that student. Yes, that student. Your world (as in, your classroom) will be a better place if you can figure out a way to mend that relationship, and the first step toward that mending is probably a quick positive interaction. Yes, that student is probably going to do something to get under your skin again, so you have to act fast. You might only have a split second between the time you see him and the time he messes up, so don't hesitate. Create the opportunity for positive interaction before he has the chance to mess up. Don't wait a single moment before starting to improve the world!

Inspirational Video: Kid President's 20 Things We Should Say More Often

Inspirational Video - Why Not You?

Monday Morning Messages

On and off throughout my career, I have tried sending regularly scheduled counselor messages to my coworkers. Whether those were weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, they all failed until this year.

• Monthly messages were too long. I always had too much to say that built up between messages, and I'd either leave out big chunks of information, or I'd send out a pseudo-novel that nobody wanted to read. 
• I would always forget to do the bi-weekly messages because my brain just couldn't stick to that schedule, and nobody knew when to expect them.
• The first time I tried weekly messages, I was too business-like. They were basically just announcements, so they were just as boring to write as they were for people to read.

You can probably guess the kind of reaction I got, and how much return I was getting on my efforts. 

I changed my strategy this year, though, and the results have been very different.

Here We Go!

Welcome to Practical Counseling!

If you look around right now, you might be unimpressed with this little blog. That's okay, because this project is just beginning. There are great things on the horizon, though, so check back soon...

What are some of those great things, you might ask?

• Lots of counseling resources to help improve mental health... both for the students you serve (because the resources are good) and for yourself (because they're practical).
• Inspiration from all over the Internet highlighted here to keep us all moving in a positive, solution-focused direction.
• Personal tips and advice from a practicing school counselor who prides himself on working smarter, not harder. Yeah, that would be me!